1.16 So Much More

I dream of Zhan.

 I wake up with a start. What am I doing?! My time in China is slipping away and I waste my time playing chess, reading books and sleeping in.

With a sense of renewed purpose I leave the hostel. There is romance on my mind. I want my first kiss and now I have finally realized that I want it with Zhan.

I am a girl on a mission.

When I reach the market I can already spot him from afar.

I stride confidently towards the tiny shop.

 "Well, hello! It's the aspiring martial artist," he teases. "How did your training go after you took possession of my dummy yesterday?"

I grin back at him, my confidence unwavering. "It went well. I got the white belt," I brag.

 "Oh yeah? Well, I have the blue belt, which should give me precedence over little white-belted grasshoppers like you," he says with a wink and cheekily sticks out his tongue at me.

 I don't miss a beat in forming my retort. "Well, maybe it won't be too long before this little grasshopper here beats your blue-belted ass!"

"I'd like to see that," he grins.

 "Seriously though, Gloria," he says, "Seeing you again is like a bright ray of sunshine on a cloudy day. I'm happy you came to visit the market today."

 I waste no time. I need to tell him about my feelings and make my intentions clear. "Actually, I came here just to see you," I admit.

 He responds positively to my honesty.

He is just about to say something when my stomach growls loudly.

 "Damn," I burst out, "I forgot to have breakfast today. Wait here a second while I grab a bite to eat."

Zhan chuckles and shakes his head as he watches me leave.

 "On second thought," he calls after me, "Let me come with you. The food merchant is a good friend of mine."

"Sure, whatever," I say, not even looking back. I'm simply too hungry to think of anything else right now!

 "Bao," Zhan hollers at the man behind the counter, "Get this beautiful lady something special to eat. It's on me!"

Bao Louie stares at me blankly. "Whaddya want?" he asks.

My stomach grumbles again. "Oh, I don't really mind," I say. "Something traditional I guess! But make it quick. I'm just really, really hungry right now."

 The food merchant nods and hands me something. "There you go," he says, "This is the most traditionally Chinese thing you'll find in all of Shang Simla."

I could swear it's just a simple hamburger though.

 Relieved that my monstrous hunger is finally satisfied, I go outside to find Zhan and thank him for the meal.

He sweeps me into a lingering hug.

"It's too bad you're leaving tonight," Zhan says. "I've really enjoyed spending time with you."

Suddenly I'm feeling shy again. "We can keep in touch though," I suggest. "I'll write you."

"I'd like to give you something to write about, Miss Romance Novelist," he flirts. I giggle.

And finally, I can't stand it any longer. I lunge forward and wrap him in my arms, pressing my lips against his.

"I'm sorry," I breathe as I release him. "I don't know what came over me..."

Zhan stares at me in stunned silence.

Then he grabs my hands...

... and pulls me back towards him.

I lean into his passionate kiss, savoring every second of it. It is everything I have ever imagined, and at the same time, so much more.

When we break apart, we gaze deeply into each other's eyes for a moment.

"That was unexpected," he says finally.

"It was now or never," I confess. "I'm leaving Shang Simla tonight."

"You can't just kiss a man like that and then tell him you're going back to the other side of the globe," he smiles.

"I'll write you," I promise again. "And maybe you can come visit me sometime!"

"I'd like that," he says.

I savor this feeling of fulfillment and happiness for another moment.

And another.

And another.

"I'm so glad I got up the courage to do this," I tell him. "I wouldn't have wanted to leave here without having showed you how I feel."

"But now that this is done," I reason, "I can finally go read all those books without remorse."

Zhan laughs as he walks back to his little shop. "That's what I like about this woman," he says to himself.

I run my finger over the spines of the books and pick one out at random.

The tiny room above the book shop is the perfect quiet place to read.

When the sun is setting, I finally emerge.

I have been neglecting my own basic needs all day. I quickly seek out the restrooms. I don't want to have an embarrassing accident in front of Zhan!

Then I jump on my bike one last time and head back to base camp.

Once more I climb the many, many steps.

There is just enough time for a quick shower before I have to go to the airport.

At midnight, I travel back home.